Daily Wit and Wisdom

[kcshocker11]

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield

8)

[kcshocker11]

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso

8)

[kcshocker11]

You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball.
Bobby Knight

8)

[wu_shizzle]

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
H. L. Mencken

[kcshocker11]

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want - and their kids pay for it.
Richard Lamm

8) :goshocks:

[kcshocker11]

A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.
Tom Stoppard

8)

[Shirley Schmidt]

Christmas Carols For the Mentally Disturbed

Carols for the Mentally Disturbed
1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

[ISASO]

“Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it”

-Thomas Sowell

[kcshocker11]

“Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it”

-Thomas Sowell

One of the problems the internet has introduced is that in this electronic village, all the village idiots have internet access.
Peter Nelson

8)

[kcshocker11]

At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.
Thomas Tusser

8)

[kcshocker11]

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Gary Allan

8)

[kcshocker11]

Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly.
George Raft

8)

[Shirley Schmidt]

•They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

George Carlin

[kcshocker11]

"We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm." - Winston Churchill

8)

[kcshocker11]

When Marriage is Outlawed,
Only Outlaws will have Inlaws. anonymous

8)