Daily Wit and Wisdom

[Shirley Schmidt]

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

:good:

[kcshocker11]

When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished.
Tommy Smothers

8)

[Shirley Schmidt]

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin

:yahoo:

[kcshocker11]

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
John Barrymore

8)

[Shirley Schmidt]

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin

:)

[kcshocker11]

“Vision without execution is hallucination.” Thomas Edison

8)

[Shirley Schmidt]

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

:(

[kcshocker11]

The present is a point just passed.
David Russell

8)

[Shirley Schmidt]

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin

:shock:

[kcshocker11]

Isn't it the moment of most profound doubt that gives birth to new certainties? Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing its absurdity.
Vaclav Havel

8)

[kcshocker11]

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.
William Faulkner

8)

[kcshocker11]

I

've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
Michael Jordan

8) :goshocks:

[Shirley Schmidt]

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin

:yes:

[SB Shock]

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water. ~Carl Reiner

[Shirley Schmidt]

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin