Humor

[WstateU]

TGIF!

“…Some beach somewhere
There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair
Palm trees are growing and warm breezes blowing
I picture myself right there
On some beach, somewhere…”

[MoValley John]

https://youtu.be/aGA0dIz9-Wk

NSFW

[Eric]

image.jpg

[WstateU]

Dean Martin (Foster Brooks) Comedy Hour classics…

http://1funny.com/the-bar-brain-surgeon/

http://1funny.com/the-airline-pilot/

[WstateU]

How 'bout them gas prices?

[ShockTalk]

How 'bout them gas prices?

Looks pretty expensive to me....errr.....it just went up....errrr.....never mind.

[WstateU]

[wusphlash]

For those with food allergies.

[Eric]

[WstateU]

Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase "You Gotta Be Shittin Me?"

Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our country, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware river with his troops.

There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.

Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.
He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.

Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.

Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware .
Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail.
All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.

Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted.
He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.

Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.' They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.

What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came.

General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.

The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman...

A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.

Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men.
We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'

Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place.
We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'

Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters.'

And the Madam said, 'You gotta be shittin me.'

[WstateU]

"It's a sausage competition that I judge..."

[WstateU]

https://twitter.com/Kylen_Scialla/status/681351176533573636

[WstateU]

The "F" Word

When is @#$% Acceptable?

There are only ten times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:

10. "What the @#$% do you mean,
we are sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

9. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

8. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- Custer, 1877

7. "Any @#$%ing idiot
could understand that."
-- Einstein, 1938

6. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 1926

5. "How the @#$%
did you work that out?"
-- Pythagoras, 126 BC

4. "You want WHAT
on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
-- Michelangelo, 1566

3. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 1937

2. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC

1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1998

[Kung Wu]

The "F" Word

When is @#$% Acceptable?

There are only ten times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:

10. "What the @#$% do you mean,
we are sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith

...

1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1998

11. "@#$%"
-- Bill Self, March 22, 2015

[ShockBand]