Tweet
Originally posted by wufan
View Post
-
And that my friends is a true love story... -
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
-
A young blonde pilot is beginning flying lessons and is in a two-seater airplane with just the instructor pilot. He has a heart attack and dies.
The frantic young blonde pilot calls out a May Day. “May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My instructor pilot had a heart attack and is dead, and I don’t know how to fly. I’m just learning to be a pilot. Help me! Please help me!”
She hears a voice over the radio saying: “This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I’ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Is the plane flying level? Is the instructor pilot strapped in his seat? Just give me your height and position.”
She says, “I’m 5’4″ and I’m in the front seat.”
(After a long pause) “O.K.” says the voice on the radio… “Now, repeat after me:” “Our Father Who art in Heaven… …Comment
-
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
-
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
-
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
-
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
-
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
-
-
Al that was missing was a direct hit to the twigs and berries.Originally posted by WstateU View PostComment
-
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband any more.
"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'.
That makes me late to work I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.'
On the way home, I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' And, again, I do an 'or what'.
So you see, Doctor, when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want sex any more."
The doctor thinks for a second. "Sooooooo," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"Comment
-
What does a deaf gynecologist do?
Reads lips.There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.Comment
-
-
Comment