Humor

[pinstripers]

Lots of rumors about Hillary Clinton running for President again in 2024.

To that end, she is trying to get back in shape. She goes in for her annual gynecological exam.

The doctor tells her she's pregnant!

Hillary realizes this will eliminate her chance to run for president and storms out of the office to call Bill.
“You got me pregnant you bastard! How could you be so careless?”

After a moment of stunned silence, Bill shouts back, "Who is this?"

[WstateU]

Lots of rumors about Hillary Clinton running for President again in 2024.

To that end, she is trying to get back in shape. She goes in for her annual gynecological exam.

The doctor tells her she's pregnant!

Hillary realizes this will eliminate her chance to run for president and storms out of the office to call Bill.
“You got me pregnant you bastard! How could you be so careless?”

After a moment of stunned silence, Bill shouts back, "Who is this?"

[pinstripers]

The lawyer says to his client, who is a very wealthy art collector tycoon:
"I have some good news and, I have some bad news”.

The art collector replies: "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first”.

The lawyer says: “Your wife invested $50 in two pictures today that she figures are worth a minimum of $2 million”.

The art collector replies enthusiastically: “Well done, very good news indeed! You've just made my day; now what’s the bad news?”

The lawyer answers: “The pictures are of you screwing your secretary”.

[pinstripers]

Two Chinese men make plans to break into a Scottish Distillery.

One turns to the other and says "is it whisky?"

His accomplice turns to him and says "yes! But not as whisky as wobbing a bank".

[pinstripers]

Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. He leaned the old 12 gauge shotgun against the corner of the blind to take a leak.
As luck would have it, his foolish dog knocked the gun over, it went off and Ole took most of a few ounce's of buckshot
in the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to.... And there was his doctor, Sven.

"Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of DA buckshot."

"What's the bad news?", asks Ole

"The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't piss in your eye."

[WstateU]

[Kung Wu]

"Where in the hell have you been, Kung Wu??"

"Down at The Gym, baby, I swear."

[1972Shocker]

Wichita had a bar named The Library many years ago.

Hey, Mom, I am going to the Library.

[Ted Lasso's Neighbor]

While I was waiting for the South Carolina game to finish up on ESPNU before the WSU one, I decided to look up the South Carolina fan forums to see what they were saying lately about Stevenson. I never found out because the first forum I went to had a thread titled "OT: Dating a midget. Advice needed, because I don't want to have a bunch of drama in my life." that started in October 2019 and had been bumped up and the first post was:

"A few years ago I posted about possibly dating a hot midget that kind of had a thing for me, but I was wary because she was a bit of a drinker and had a mean streak and, frankly, was a bit of a tramp. I know these things because a group of us had been out socially. Plus, we worked at the same place, although not for the same company. I wound up never doing it, for which I got cussed out, but we remained friends. After moving I lost touch with her as people tend to do, but she called me a couple of days ago because she is moving here after the new year and she wants to know if I would like to go out with her, and she sort of hinted around that she needed someplace to stay until she got a place of her own.

Since I got fired from my last job and found another one things have been pretty good. I don’t want to be unkind and not help her in a time of need, but I worry about inviting an alcoholic, sexually promiscuous midget with anger issues into my home. And it has nothing to do with her being a midget, but if things go south then I’m sure that will be thrown up to me. The thing is, if she would cut out the drinking, that would probably end the violence. She is otherwise a great girl with a good job and would be nice catch.

I don't know if I should risk it. Should I try to change her? Because if not then she is entrenched like a weed and it's a no win situation for me because society will always take the midget's side."


The thread is about 9 pages long and is pretty funny if you want to read it - https://southcarolina.forums.rivals....y-life.321125/ - the original poster gives updates over the years and the replies from others are pretty funny as well.

[WstateU]

While I was waiting for the South Carolina game to finish up on ESPNU before the WSU one, I decided to look up the South Carolina fan forums to see what they were saying lately about Stevenson. I never found out because the first forum I went to had a thread titled "OT: Dating a midget. Advice needed, because I don't want to have a bunch of drama in my life." that started in October 2019 and had been bumped up and the first post was:

"A few years ago I posted about possibly dating a hot midget that kind of had a thing for me, but I was wary because she was a bit of a drinker and had a mean streak and, frankly, was a bit of a tramp. I know these things because a group of us had been out socially. Plus, we worked at the same place, although not for the same company. I wound up never doing it, for which I got cussed out, but we remained friends. After moving I lost touch with her as people tend to do, but she called me a couple of days ago because she is moving here after the new year and she wants to know if I would like to go out with her, and she sort of hinted around that she needed someplace to stay until she got a place of her own.

Since I got fired from my last job and found another one things have been pretty good. I don’t want to be unkind and not help her in a time of need, but I worry about inviting an alcoholic, sexually promiscuous midget with anger issues into my home. And it has nothing to do with her being a midget, but if things go south then I’m sure that will be thrown up to me. The thing is, if she would cut out the drinking, that would probably end the violence. She is otherwise a great girl with a good job and would be nice catch.

I don't know if I should risk it. Should I try to change her? Because if not then she is entrenched like a weed and it's a no win situation for me because society will always take the midget's side."


The thread is about 9 pages long and is pretty funny if you want to read it - https://southcarolina.forums.rivals....y-life.321125/ - the original poster gives updates over the years and the replies from others are pretty funny as well.

Looks like a thread for @MoValley John… many moons ago there was a Shockernet thread about midgets (midget tossing).

P.S. Just found this nugget in the midget thread…

”It's sort of like Gregg Marshall's wife. I would fear her, but would probably go for it and feel like I got mauled by a leopard afterwards.”

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[dregn]

Looks like a thread for @MoValley John… many moons ago there was a Shockernet thread about midgets (midget tossing).

P.S. Just found this nugget in the midget thread…

”It's sort of like Gregg Marshall's wife. I would fear her, but would probably go for it and feel like I got mauled by a leopard afterwards.”

I'm amazed MoValley John hasn't shown up yet to comment on this one...

[pinstripers]

A man and his friend went to a bar and started talking. The man says to his friend “I think my wife is cheating on me.”

The friend says, “What makes you think that?”

The man replies, “She didn’t come home last night and she said she was with her sister Shirley.”

The friend said, “so…..”

The man says, “I know she is lying because I was banging her sister Shirley last night.”

[WuDrWu]

While I was waiting for the South Carolina game to finish up on ESPNU before the WSU one, I decided to look up the South Carolina fan forums to see what they were saying lately about Stevenson. I never found out because the first forum I went to had a thread titled "OT: Dating a midget. Advice needed, because I don't want to have a bunch of drama in my life." that started in October 2019 and had been bumped up and the first post was:

"A few years ago I posted about possibly dating a hot midget that kind of had a thing for me, but I was wary because she was a bit of a drinker and had a mean streak and, frankly, was a bit of a tramp. I know these things because a group of us had been out socially. Plus, we worked at the same place, although not for the same company. I wound up never doing it, for which I got cussed out, but we remained friends. After moving I lost touch with her as people tend to do, but she called me a couple of days ago because she is moving here after the new year and she wants to know if I would like to go out with her, and she sort of hinted around that she needed someplace to stay until she got a place of her own.

Since I got fired from my last job and found another one things have been pretty good. I don’t want to be unkind and not help her in a time of need, but I worry about inviting an alcoholic, sexually promiscuous midget with anger issues into my home. And it has nothing to do with her being a midget, but if things go south then I’m sure that will be thrown up to me. The thing is, if she would cut out the drinking, that would probably end the violence. She is otherwise a great girl with a good job and would be nice catch.

I don't know if I should risk it. Should I try to change her? Because if not then she is entrenched like a weed and it's a no win situation for me because society will always take the midget's side."


The thread is about 9 pages long and is pretty funny if you want to read it - https://southcarolina.forums.rivals....y-life.321125/ - the original poster gives updates over the years and the replies from others are pretty funny as well.

Ok, first of all, it’s not funny, it’s THE most hilarious thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Just read the OP’s posts. I’m literally crying and my abs are killing me.

Pure gold.