Humor

[ShockTalk]

Thank you. I was going to write "I didn't know sandwiches could dance?". I like yours better.

[WstateU]

[MikeKennedyRulZ]

LOL!!! Good one.

[SHOXAAC]

Of all the options I considered to get my picture on SN, this one escaped me. I found my glasses under my left bosom by the way. I can now clearly see my way to the fridge for another Kit Kat and Michelob Ultra.

[pinstripers]

I went to my dermatologist yesterday. She took liquid nitrogen and burnt off several spots on my head and neck. Then she said, "you farmers and ranchers are all alike, spending all that time in the sun." I kinda grunted and then she said, "Another thing, I know all you guys pee outside, but if you're smart, you'll start doing it in the shade............"

[pinstripers]

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he received a call on his phone.
With a big smile on his face, he ordered drinks for everybody in the bar, and announced his wife had just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody could believe that a newborn baby weighed in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugged, "That's about average up our way, folks ... like I said, my boy's a typical County Clare baby!"
Two weeks later the man returned to the bar. The bartender asked, "Say, aren't you the father of that ‘typical Irish baby’ that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks ... so how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Seventeen pounds.
"
The bartender was puzzled. "What happened? You said he was 25 pounds the day he was born."
The father took a long, slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wiped his lips on his shirt sleeve, leaned into the bartender and proudly said, "We had him circumcised!"

[pinstripers]

Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Tony replied, "You know, my grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candybars at a time?"
Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fukking business."

[WstateU]

[pinstripers]

A family of five strolled into the International House of Pancakes on Saturday morning to enjoy a rare breakfast out.
After they were seated and had placed their order, the parents and the two older children bantered back while the youngest daughter focused on her coloring book.
Later, their order arrived and was placed before them; ham and eggs for the Dad, a blueberry waffle for Mom, and omelets for the two older kids, while Stephanie, the kindergartener had pancakes.
After a few minutes, their server returned to see how everything was going, and Stephanie piped up with, "these pancakes taste just like Grandma's!"
The server responded with a smile, "glad to hear we could make something as good as Grandma's."
Stephanie answered, "My Grandma can't make pancakes for sh!t either"

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[SHOXJOCK]

WstateU How many energy drinks have had this afternoon? Well done sir.

[WstateU]

WstateU How many energy drinks have had this afternoon? Well done sir.