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  • A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

    He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.

    So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go the party.

    Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

    She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

    His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished... Naturally, (since he was her husband.)

    Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.

    Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
    She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

    - "Did you dance much ?" she asked.

    - "you know, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Browning and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."

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    • One of the guys down at coffee told me that last night he was out at the Club talkin to a brunette and bein a lil flirty.......then she told him that she'd be more interested if he was to shave and drop about 20 pounds. He told her that if he did that, he'd be talkin to the blonde over next to the bar........

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      • "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

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        • Speaking of Walmart -

          Not responsible for damage from posts that sail over the reader's head.

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          • A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
            The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
            The man was impressed.
            The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..
            Again, the man is impressed.
            The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
            Obviously, the man was impressed.
            The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
            Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

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            • "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

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              • Republican or Not

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                • What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?
                  There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

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                  • Originally posted by MoValley John View Post
                    What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?
                    I believe they are one and the same. But the usage of one over the other indicate you are a republican or a democrat, I guess chick peas could be conisdered mysonigtistic which, of course, would make you a Republican.

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                    • Originally posted by 1972Shocker View Post

                      I believe they are one and the same. But the usage of one over the other indicate you are a republican or a democrat, I guess chick peas could be conisdered mysonigtistic which, of course, would make you a Republican.
                      No. The answer is. I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.
                      There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

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                      • "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

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                        • This is "Headaches & Castration _ Jethro [360p]" by sam kelly on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.
                          "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

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                          • Originally posted by MoValley John View Post

                            No. The answer is. I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.
                            Ha. Or the variation of “I’ve never paid fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.”

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                            • Originally posted by WstateU View Post
                              True story:

                              I’m at a fraternity party playing catch with a football. One gets away from me and this 5-10 redhead in a tank top and a mini-skirt hands me her beer, picks up the ball and punts it over the two story frat house. At that moment, I noticed she was wearing a thong, and I knew she was the one.

                              Married 16 years.
                              Livin the dream

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                              • Originally posted by wufan View Post

                                True story:

                                I’m at a fraternity party playing catch with a football. One gets away from me and this 5-10 redhead in a tank top and a mini-skirt hands me her beer, picks up the ball and punts it over the two story frat house. At that moment, I noticed she was wearing a thong, and I knew she was the one.

                                Married 16 years.
                                All I want to know is did she also get you a screwdriver?

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