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  • Playing the course's around ICT Out 4 times last week. Hesston today at 9:20 if you want to join..Walking only

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    • Originally posted by pogo View Post
      Playing the course's around ICT Out 4 times last week. Hesston today at 9:20 if you want to join..Walking only
      If I didn't have this thing called a job, I would join you in a heart beat ole buddy. Have fun.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by pogo View Post
        And lastly...If you run short of toilet paper spay your butt with PAM. The poop won't stick. Don't ask how I know this.
        This reminds me of the Eddie Murphy joke.

        A bear and a rabbit were taking a **** in the woods.

        The bear asked the rabbit "Do you have a problem with **** sticking to your fur?"

        "No" said the rabbit.

        So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

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        • nm

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          • Originally posted by jdmee View Post

            This reminds me of the Eddie Murphy joke.

            A bear and a rabbit were taking a **** in the woods.

            The bear asked the rabbit "Do you have a problem with **** sticking to your fur?"

            "No" said the rabbit.

            So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


            "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

            Comment


            • Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

              The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

              He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
              'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.it protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
              That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
              Naturally, they take the bike there.
              Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.
              'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
              'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
              Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
              They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
              He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.
              He reaches over and fondles her. Nobody says a word.

              So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and makes love to her, right there in front of her parents.
              His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
              He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too. Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table.
              His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.
              All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
              Suddenly the father shouts. "All right! All right! I'll do the friggin’ dishes!!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by pinstripers View Post
                Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

                The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

                He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
                'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.it protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
                That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
                Naturally, they take the bike there.
                Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.
                'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
                'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
                Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
                They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
                He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.
                He reaches over and fondles her. Nobody says a word.

                So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and makes love to her, right there in front of her parents.
                His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
                He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too. Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table.
                His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.
                All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
                Suddenly the father shouts. "All right! All right! I'll do the friggin’ dishes!!

                "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

                Comment


                • Commemorative Candle For 2020

                  Image may contain: fire
                  Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

                  Comment


                  • A doctor had a good reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he couldn't help. The Browns came into see the successful doctor and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests. Finally, he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I can help you." "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue. "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help." The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us." "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "
                    source:

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by pinstripers View Post
                      A doctor had a good reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he couldn't help. The Browns came into see the successful doctor and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests. Finally, he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I can help you." "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue. "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help." The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us." "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "
                      source:
                      "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

                      Comment


                      • Bill was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife, and she was getting frustrated.

                        The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals. Then, after a thorough examination, the doctor said he wanted to check with Bill's wife

                        He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

                        She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes, and cough.

                        Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband".

                        The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, "Well, Bill, you can relax. There is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by pinstripers View Post
                          Bill was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife, and she was getting frustrated.

                          The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals. Then, after a thorough examination, the doctor said he wanted to check with Bill's wife

                          He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

                          She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes, and cough.

                          Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband".

                          The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, "Well, Bill, you can relax. There is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."
                          Sounds like she had xactly disease... that’s a bad one. Kinda like butterface.


                          "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

                          Comment


                          • Luigi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day.

                            Each day he stops and looks in the window
                            to admire the Armani leather shoes.

                            He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.

                            After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes,
                            $300, and purchases them.

                            Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance
                            in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity
                            to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

                            He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her,
                            'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'

                            Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Luigi, I do wear
                            red panties tonight, but how do you know?'

                            Luigi answers,’ I see the reflection in my new
                            $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?'

                            Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, ‘Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?'

                            Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi, I do, but how do you know that?'

                            He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes... How do you like them?'

                            Luigi dances with many young ladies this evening and the same question is asked and answered by a very surprised
                            young lady each time.





                            Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance.

                            Midway through the dance his face turns red...

                            He states, 'Carmela, please tell me you wear no panties tonight.

                            Please, please, tella me this true!'

                            Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi,
                            I wear no panties tonight...'

                            Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God ....

                            I thought I had a crack in my $300 Armani leather shoes...!
                            "I not sure that I've ever been around a more competitive player or young man than Fred VanVleet. I like to win more than 99.9% of the people in this world, but he may top me." -- Gregg Marshall 12/23/13 :peaceful:
                            ---------------------------------------
                            Remember when Nancy Pelosi said about Obamacare:
                            "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it".

                            A physician called into a radio show and said:
                            "That's the definition of a stool sample."

                            Comment


                            • Though I'm sharing in memory of Adam Schlesinger of the Fountains of Wayne, considering the recent jokes being shared, the video fits for this fine forum.

                              Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

                              Comment


                              • A plane has five passengers on board: Donald Trump, the Pope, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Hillary Clinton, and a 10 year old school girl. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes. Dr. Fauci said “I need one, I helped develop a cure for the global health crisis that is Covid19!” He strapped on a parachute and jumped. The Pope said “I need one, I have to help spiritually guide people through the global health crisis that is Covid19.” He takes one and jumps. Hillary said “I need one. I’m the smartest woman in the United States.” She takes one and jumps. President Trump pauses for a moment and then turns to the 10 year old. After a deep sigh, he says tenderly “you can have the last parachute. I’ve lived my life, yours is only starting.” The child replies, “Don’t worry, there are two parachutes left. The smartest woman in the United States took my school back pack.”
                                "I not sure that I've ever been around a more competitive player or young man than Fred VanVleet. I like to win more than 99.9% of the people in this world, but he may top me." -- Gregg Marshall 12/23/13 :peaceful:
                                ---------------------------------------
                                Remember when Nancy Pelosi said about Obamacare:
                                "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it".

                                A physician called into a radio show and said:
                                "That's the definition of a stool sample."

                                Comment

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