Humor

[C0|dB|00ded]

The "flop" shot perfected...

https://nypost.com/2020/08/26/video-...-like-its-hot/

Love the flop shot.

I'd got to jail for that.

[WstateU]

Love the flop shot.

I'd got to jail for that.

Gotta be a conservative...

[SHOXAAC]

The "flop" shot perfected...

https://nypost.com/2020/08/26/video-...-like-its-hot/

She hopes I enjoyed the "quickie" with her today. Oh, yes I did and would like several more...please!!!

[wichshock65]

The "flop" shot perfected...

https://nypost.com/2020/08/26/video-...-like-its-hot/

I had to watch it 3 times before I noticed she was playing golf.

[pinstripers]

[WstateU]

[pogo]

She hopes I enjoyed the "quickie" with her today. Oh, yes I did and would like several more...please!!!

So when you are talking about several more you are thinking of a minute or two of your time. Just asking for a friend.

[SHOXAAC]

So when you are talking about several more you are thinking of a minute or two of your time. Just asking for a friend.

A minute or two is giving me the benefit of the doubt. Oh, by the way you owe me a phone call !!!

[WstateU]

[pogo]

So is this the definition of being Woke?

[WstateU]

SPEAKING GERMAN IN TEXAS

In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man
using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink
das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."

This means: �Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have **** in it."

The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here
campaigning for Biden's Presidential run. I can't understand you.
Please speak in English."

The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

[pogo]

New Braunfels also hosts a great October fest celebration. Of course I have no first hand knowledge of this event.

[pinstripers]

Two women happened to be sitting next to one another at a lunch counter.

One was a voluptuous secretary, about 26, and drop dead gorgeous.

The other was a prim and proper spinster, nearing 60, with her hair up in a bun and her eyeglasses way down on her nose.

The secretary finishes her ham and cheese sandwich, pushes her plate away, and lights up a cigarette.

The older lady looks at her, disgusted, and whispers (intentionally loud enough for her to hear) "Harrump! I would rather commit adultery that smoke a cigarette!"

The secretary leans back on her stool, blows a smoke ring in the air, and retorts, "so would I, honey, but I only get twenty minutes for lunch."

[pinstripers]

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money.
The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me. But please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!"
Man: “Sorta, but she's gonna be home shortly”.

[WstateU]

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money.
The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me. But please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!"
Man: “Sorta, but she's gonna be home shortly”.