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Originally posted by WstateU View PostKung Wu say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror
as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "how does that feel?"
“Feels great," he replied; "but I still think my thumb's broken.”
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One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit, and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long it’s been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the Scotsman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve, and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Och - that is so good!"
"And, how long has it been since you've had a sip of good scotch?" she asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!"
At this point, she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees, and sobs,
"Oh my goodness, don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"
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