Humor

[pinstripers]

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day.
Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.
He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes,
$300, and purchases them.
Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance
in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity
to wear his new Armani shiny leather shoes for the first time.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her,
'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'
Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Luigi, I do wear
red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
Luigi answers,’ I see the reflection in my new
$300 Armani shiny leather shoes. How do you like them?'
Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, ‘Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?'
Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi, I do, but how do you know that?'
He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani shiny leather shoes... How do you like them?'
Luigi dances with many young ladies this evening and the same question is asked and answered by a very surprised
young lady each time.
Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance.
Midway through the dance his face turns red...
He states, 'Carmela, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!'
Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi,
I wear no panties tonight...'
Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God ....
I thought I had a scratch in my $300 Armani leather shoes...!

[shock]

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day.
Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.
He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes,
$300, and purchases them.
Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance
in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity
to wear his new Armani shiny leather shoes for the first time.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her,
'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'
Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Luigi, I do wear
red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
Luigi answers,’ I see the reflection in my new
$300 Armani shiny leather shoes. How do you like them?'
Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, ‘Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?'
Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi, I do, but how do you know that?'
He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani shiny leather shoes... How do you like them?'
Luigi dances with many young ladies this evening and the same question is asked and answered by a very surprised
young lady each time.
Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance.
Midway through the dance his face turns red...
He states, 'Carmela, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!'
Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi,
I wear no panties tonight...'
Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God ....
I thought I had a scratch in my $300 Armani leather shoes...!

New Tony Llamas

[shoxlax]

My wife sat me down and said, "If I ever die, I don't want you to live out your days lonely."

I tried to push it aside, "Oh no honey, don't worry, that won't happen."

She persisted, "Look, I mean it. i want you to move on, to find someone else and be happy. Maybe even remarry. Promise me."

So I relented, "OK, OK... I understand. I promise."Then she added, "Oh, but please don't let her wear my clothes."

So I said, "Oh, don't worry, she is not your size."

[pinstripers]

An old Jewish man won the lottery and donated a portion of his winnings to a neo-nazi group.

When a reporter saw him, the reporter asked why the man would donate to such a group.

He grinned at the camera while pulling his sleeve up and said "They gave me the winning numbers."

[pinstripers]

Johnny who was blind, went to a restaurant.

"menu sir?" asked the owner.

"I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order."

The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. Johnny the blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, said, "yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables."

Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left.

Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner remembered him, and wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part", which she did.

He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Damn, I never knew Brenda worked here"

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[Aargh]

Is a Gold Cup in soccer an award or a pricey piece of safety equipment?

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

Just another day on the links; some of the comments are hilarious…

[SHOXAAC]

Just another day on the links; some of the comments are hilarious…

I guess an emergency 9 is out of the question!

[pinstripers]

An Irish World War II Spitfire pilot and flying ACE, was speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences.

“In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these Fokker's appeared.”

There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle.

“I looked up, and realized that two of the Fokkers were directly above me. I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other Fokker was right on my tail.”

At this point, several of the elderly ladies of the church were blushing with embarrassment, the girls were all giggling and the boys laughing loudly.

The pastor finally stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company, who made many of the planes used by the Germans during the war."

“Yes, that's true," says the old pilot, "but these Fokkers were flying Messerschmitt's.”