Daily Wit and Wisdom

[kcshocker11]

A minister was asked by a funeral director to pray at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As he was not familiar with the backwoods, he got lost.
He finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
He felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. The he went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. He didn’t know what else to do, so He started to pray.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He prayed out his heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. He prayed like he never prayed before for this homeless man.
And as he prayed the workers began to weep, he wept, they all wept together. When he finished he started for his car. Though his head hung low, his heart was full.
As he opened the door to his car, he heard one of the workers say, “I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
Apparently, he is still lost

:boxing:

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[im4wsu]

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NEW VAN GOGH FOUND1

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[im4wsu]

Didn't know which thread to put this in, so here it is!



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Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day .
Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
Thelma's father thinks a bit then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”
"The whole Isis group," she says.
"Why them," her father asks in shock?
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they'd love everyone a lot. And then they'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn't hate anyone anymore.”
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. ”
"I know," Thelma says, "and once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the **** out of them."

:kiwi-fruit:

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