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"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People" -
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets.
Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait!
DEAR DIARY - DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. The Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. The Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6
Today I saved 2600 lives.
Twice ...Comment
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A student went to Creighton on a basketball scholarship. He was a great point guard, but a poor student.
At graduation, he didn't have enough credits. But he was a great basketball star and the students held a rally and demanded the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Bubba could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.
The one question test was held in the gymnasium and all the students packed the place. It was standing room only.
The dean was on the stage and told him to come up. The dean had the diploma in his hand and said, "sir, if you can answer this question correctly I'll give you your diploma."
He said he was ready and the dean asked him the question. "Sir," he said, "How much is three times seven?"
He looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, just pondering the question. The BlueJay students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!"
Then he held up his hand and the field house became silent. he said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one."
A hush fell over the place and the Creighton students began another chant. "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"Comment
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I remember my first spelling bee. I was just a kid with no confidence, but I read a lot. Knew a gazillion words.
The girl before me spelled "lantern", no prob.
Anyway, I just just finished reading, "Captain Blood", a swashbuckling novel about pirates and great ships and treasure chests and such.
Mrs. Krause looks at me and says slowly, "seaward."
I stared at her, couldn't believe my ears. "Whaaaaat?" I blurted out.
Mrs. Krause frowns and repeats, "seaward."
I swallow hard,, I wanna win so I start out, "C-U......"
She sent me to the principal's office.............Comment
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I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ............ they kind of taste like peppermint.Comment
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Three bulls on the farm. They were just working out divvying up the heifers (young female cows). The biggest claims 60 of the 100 heifers. The second one claims 30 and the smallest, a puny runt gets 10.
Just as they ironed out the details, a huge trailer rolls up and out walks a monster of a bull.
The other bulls start to question their allotments of the ladies. They don't want to get on the new guy's bad side. The first one concedes 20 is reasonable and the next biggest one says 10 is fine.
They look over to the little runt of the trio, and he's in a big huff. Snorting, stomping and just trying to look really mean.
They say, "he'll kill you young'n. Just let it be and let him have his picks. No use dying over it."
To which the runt replies, "I don't care about the heifers. I just want him to know I'm a BULL!""You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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Happy Mother's Day all you mothers!Kung Wu say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!Comment
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"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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One of my favorite commercials ever…
”I must be in the front row!”
"You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"Comment
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