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I apologize for my long absence, but due to my patented move, the cross-over dribble (which I invented back in the early 70’s) I was no longer able to hustle the local YMCA and school yard ballers. I even shaved my fro and grew a fu Manchu in order to disguise myself, but the first time I busted out the famous cross-over dribble I heard someone from across the gym yell, “It’s Shoelace!!” My cover was blown. So in order to maintain my income steam I had to move on to greener pastures.
Well for now, I am back, and after last night’s game at Mo St, I felt the time was right for me to make a brief stop by the Shockernet. Why you may ask? Well pretty simple. We won last night because of one person, Freddie V. To be more specific, because of his ability to get to the basket in clutch times. What enables him to do so with such great ease? You guessed it, the cross-over dribble (which I invented back in the early 70’s). Now although Freddie V has not yet perfected the stab step, rubber neck juke, explosive cross-over which leaves a defender with a soiled panty and badly sprained ankle, he has achieved a level 6 cross-over which at the NCAA level is pretty good. (Tyrone Shoelace is a level 10+). Nonetheless I wanted to use this forum to reach out to coach Marshall because I can help this team win the National Championship. To do that he needs not just Freddie V, but everyone on the team taking advantage of my patented move. If coach Marshall seeks my instruction I will make myself available to the team, for a nominal fee of course.
I hope Marshall takes advantage of my offer because right now my attorney JJ is in the process of legal proceedings which could result in me, Tyrone Shoelace, being paid a fee for every time someone uses my patented move. If WSU retains my services, I will sign a waiver allowing them unlimited use of the cross-over dribble for a period of 20 years or 20,000 miles (which ever comes first).
I am Tyrone Shoelace and I KNOW basketball. You want me on that bench. YOU NEED ME ON THAT BENCH!!
Well for now, I am back, and after last night’s game at Mo St, I felt the time was right for me to make a brief stop by the Shockernet. Why you may ask? Well pretty simple. We won last night because of one person, Freddie V. To be more specific, because of his ability to get to the basket in clutch times. What enables him to do so with such great ease? You guessed it, the cross-over dribble (which I invented back in the early 70’s). Now although Freddie V has not yet perfected the stab step, rubber neck juke, explosive cross-over which leaves a defender with a soiled panty and badly sprained ankle, he has achieved a level 6 cross-over which at the NCAA level is pretty good. (Tyrone Shoelace is a level 10+). Nonetheless I wanted to use this forum to reach out to coach Marshall because I can help this team win the National Championship. To do that he needs not just Freddie V, but everyone on the team taking advantage of my patented move. If coach Marshall seeks my instruction I will make myself available to the team, for a nominal fee of course.
I hope Marshall takes advantage of my offer because right now my attorney JJ is in the process of legal proceedings which could result in me, Tyrone Shoelace, being paid a fee for every time someone uses my patented move. If WSU retains my services, I will sign a waiver allowing them unlimited use of the cross-over dribble for a period of 20 years or 20,000 miles (which ever comes first).
I am Tyrone Shoelace and I KNOW basketball. You want me on that bench. YOU NEED ME ON THAT BENCH!!
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