Humor

[WstateU]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAoWVc2J5nv/?igsh=MWw2bW1sNzZtenY0OA==

[WstateU]

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/PuWs9kF8uaP8T9QN/?

[WstateU]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBOTUb9NFuE/?igsh=NzUzMnhidWJ3a3ln

[pinstripers]

I was traveling between West Palm Beach and Boca Raton the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it, too, was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?" "Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Republican or Democrat?" asked the old man. "Republican," I replied. "Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
Again, I gave the same answer, "Republican." The driver gave me the finger and drove off.
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat. "Democrat!" I shouted.
"Hop in!" replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."

[WstateU]

Hard to believe it’s been 25 years since Pinky blew a gasket.

RIP Pinky…

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCoKmAbOjcd/?igsh=MTNsOG03ZXBxZ2hmNQ==

[WstateU]

Pinky for you non Instagram users…

[pinstripers]

Arlene comes home to her husband.............late
Alvis says, "where ya been, wifey?"
Alene answers, "well, I got news. Wanna herar some news?"
"I guess so," he answers, "is it good news and bad news?"
"No, Alvis, it's more like bad news and bad news."
"Bad news and bad news? well, I guess so. Tell me anyway. What's the bad news and bad news, Alene?
"Yer brother Cleo is hung better than you."

[WstateU]

Wildcats… I’m sure they’re related to ole Pinky.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBqlRcPtfuU/?igsh=MXBpM3ZpbG0zOWdlOQ==

[ShockBand]

Dumb but fun use of AI #37: parody lyrics for songs. Here is one I just had AI write, then tweaked a few lines myself.

Suspicious Moles
(to the tune of "Suspicious Minds")

Verse 1
We're caught in a rash,
Can’t step out in the sun.
Because my skin’s got spots,
I think something's wrong.

Verse 2
Why can't you see,
These weird freckles on me?
And if you won’t agree,
I’ll Google ‘skin signs.’

Chorus
We can't go on together,
With suspicious moles.
(Suspicious moles!)
And we can't build a future
Till we check them all.

Verse 3
So, I called my doc,
Said, "I need an exam."
Every mole she saw,
I said, “Is this melanoma, ma’am?”

Bridge
Here we go again,
Asking about SPF.
I’ll lather up my skin,
But I’m still holding my breath!

Chorus
We can't go on together,
With suspicious moles.
(Suspicious moles!)
And we can't build a future
Till we check them all.

Outro
Oh, it’s worth the time,
To get my skin all cleared.
You’ll see this mole of mine
Was just a spot I feared.

[pinstripers]

Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase "You Gotta Be Shittin Me?"

Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our country, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware river with his troops.

There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.

Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.
He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.

Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware .

Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail.
All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.

Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted.
He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.

Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.' They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.
What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came.

General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman...
A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.

Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men.
We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'

Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place.
We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'

Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters.'
And the Madam said, 'You gotta be shittin me.'