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For those of you wondering when Tyrone Shoelace would grace the Round Chuck with his pattented stab step, rubber neck juke, explosive cross-over dribble leaving his defender with a broken ankle and a soiled panty, well... I regret to inform the Shocker faithful that due to a huge mis-understanding and a failure to communicate, Tyrone has been diqualified from NCAA competition.
When it was discovered that Tyrone was suffering from "Roid Rage", NCAA officials jumped to the wrong conclusion and assumed by my muscular physique that anabolic steroids were involved. However, when they raided my medicine cabinet and found 3 cases of Prep-H and a 12 month supply of Tucks they realized that my roid rage was a result of a recent monumental flare-up of hemeroids stemming from an overdose of Taco Shop nuclear beefy bean burritos and cheese enchiladas.
To save unnecessary public humiliation, and thanks to my attorney (JJ) a settlement was reached with the NCAA in which I will receive an undisclosed amount of cash, a 10% off coupon to Wild Oats, and diplomatic immunity for 12 months or 12,000 miles (which ever comes first)
When it was discovered that Tyrone was suffering from "Roid Rage", NCAA officials jumped to the wrong conclusion and assumed by my muscular physique that anabolic steroids were involved. However, when they raided my medicine cabinet and found 3 cases of Prep-H and a 12 month supply of Tucks they realized that my roid rage was a result of a recent monumental flare-up of hemeroids stemming from an overdose of Taco Shop nuclear beefy bean burritos and cheese enchiladas.
To save unnecessary public humiliation, and thanks to my attorney (JJ) a settlement was reached with the NCAA in which I will receive an undisclosed amount of cash, a 10% off coupon to Wild Oats, and diplomatic immunity for 12 months or 12,000 miles (which ever comes first)
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