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I'm writing in Gregg Marshall for mayor. There is no reason to wait until we are champs and in the NCAA tourney -- we all know where this is headed.
Resume'?
0) Notwithstanding all accomplishments prior to joining W.S.U.
1) Took a projected 5 seed to 2nd in conference and 2nd in conference tournament!
2) First 17-0 record at home!
3) Took our beloved Shockers to their first championship tourney game! Can you say M.O.N.K.E.Y. off our back?
4) Halted ranked Big-12 Texas-Tech's undefeated nine game win streak so badly that the gunslingers completely came apart and are still pining in the locker room about a do-over. -sniffle-
5) Silenced the nuoveau-riche Northern Iowa fans by knocking off #22 in the country.
6) Conspired with WSU's aeronautical agency, NIAR, and coached the secretive WSU-Basketball-Space-Agency's first astronaut, David Kyles, who was caught on low-orbit radar when going up for one of his monster dunks. The transcript went something like this.
7) Law enforcement? He's been a Marshall for over 45 years.
8) Budgeting? He can count an average of at least 10,000 fans every game. I bet he can also multiply that times the average price of a ticket. Cha-ching.
9) Philanthropy? He gave Southern Illinois their biggest ass-whooping of the past decade .. absolutely FREE! (unconfirmed, but how could it not be?) And everyone but Mayes scored a point in that game. This is a gracious man!
10) Accomplished all of the above in only his third year, which was really his second year, but technically was the third year, but come on we all really know it was only his second year. And yes I realize that was a run-on sentence, so stuff it English majors, it's my prerogative, neener-neener-neener, comma, comma, comma.
Resume'?
0) Notwithstanding all accomplishments prior to joining W.S.U.
1) Took a projected 5 seed to 2nd in conference and 2nd in conference tournament!
2) First 17-0 record at home!
3) Took our beloved Shockers to their first championship tourney game! Can you say M.O.N.K.E.Y. off our back?
4) Halted ranked Big-12 Texas-Tech's undefeated nine game win streak so badly that the gunslingers completely came apart and are still pining in the locker room about a do-over. -sniffle-
5) Silenced the nuoveau-riche Northern Iowa fans by knocking off #22 in the country.
6) Conspired with WSU's aeronautical agency, NIAR, and coached the secretive WSU-Basketball-Space-Agency's first astronaut, David Kyles, who was caught on low-orbit radar when going up for one of his monster dunks. The transcript went something like this.
Originally posted by NASA Transcript
8) Budgeting? He can count an average of at least 10,000 fans every game. I bet he can also multiply that times the average price of a ticket. Cha-ching.
9) Philanthropy? He gave Southern Illinois their biggest ass-whooping of the past decade .. absolutely FREE! (unconfirmed, but how could it not be?) And everyone but Mayes scored a point in that game. This is a gracious man!
10) Accomplished all of the above in only his third year, which was really his second year, but technically was the third year, but come on we all really know it was only his second year. And yes I realize that was a run-on sentence, so stuff it English majors, it's my prerogative, neener-neener-neener, comma, comma, comma.
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