Off Season Jibber Jabber and Look Ahead

[shock]

Eye bleach

[ShockerPhi]

Why are Dolly Parton's feet so small?

Because nothing grows well in the shade.

[SB Shock]

A screen saver for your computer...

That is desecration of the star and stripes....

[choida]

good lord man! WTF is wrong with you? Hahaha

Lol no wonder Bill looked else where... This could be our next president... Let that sink in

[shoxlax]

@WstateU: I now have regularly scheduled therapy thanks to you!

This means you owe us several pictures that are on the other end of the spectrum

[WstateU]

Three Ladies are playing the fourth hole at a well-known golf course

on the edge of Greenwood, when a naked man wearing a paper bag over

his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green.

The three ladies stand in awe at the size of his manhood.

The first lady says, 'He is definitely not my husband.'

The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either.'

After a very considered inspection, the third lady finally says, 'He's

not even a member of this golf club' .

[pinstripers]

Shortest Prostate Exam ever

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, “Where should I put my pants ?"

“Over there by mine,” was not the answer I was expecting.

[shoxlax]

When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he is standing next to your wife telling her that her hair smells nice

[60Shock]

Married couple lying in bed after celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.

She: 'Tell me, Sweetheart, and I promise not to get mad, but have you ever cheated on me during our married life?'

He: 'No, Sweetheart, I have not.' And after a pause, he asked, 'How about you? Have you ever cheated on me? And I likewise promise not to get mad if you have.'

She: 'Well, remember when you had that brain tumor shortly after we got married and we had absolutely no medical insurance? And do you remember that nice doctor who performed the operation on you for free and saw to also that there were no hospital expenses? Well, sweetheart, the only reason he did that was because he promised if I went to bed with him he would take care to see there were no charges.'

He: 'You did that for me? You saved my life. How in the world could I ever fault you for that. Knowing this only makes me love you more than ever. I suppose that was the only time, Sweetheart?'

She: After a short pause, 'Well, do you remember the time you needed a $100,000 loan to expand your business and not one bank in town would approve the loan. And finally, that nice Mr. Baxter at the Last Stop Credit and Loan agreed to OK the loan? Well, I had to go to bed with him for him to approve it.'

He: 'That is totally amazing that you would do such a thing to save my business, my love. The sacrifices you have made for me simply prove to me how much you love me. How in the world could I ever be angry at you, my darling."

Long silence.

He: 'Were those the only two times, Sweetheart?'

Longer pause.

She: 'Well, Sweetheart, do you remember back a couple of years ago when you wanted so desperately to be elected president of our country club because you believed it would greatly increase your business and you were 36 votes shy?'

[Shocker Mama]

Next season needs to start right now. I just watched the last two quarters of the Bulls Bucks game. Shocker Son was yelling "put Dougie in! You're 40 points ahead! Pass the ball to Dougie!"

[Kel Varnsen]

One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and killed those two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a rubber wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

[shock]

One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and killed those two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a rubber wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

Shel Silverstein? from the End of the Sidewalk?

[DUShock]