The Box & One

[Tyrone Shoelace]

With the big game coming up against UNI I wanted to offer HCGM a coaching tip. We should play a Box & One on Seth Tuttle. Trust me, I am Tyrone Shoelace and I know basketball. Furthermore, I know a LOT about the Box & One. Why you may ask? Let me give you a little history lesson. Back in the early 70’s when I invented the cross-over dribble, opposing coaches were scratching their heads over how to stop my reign of terror on their helpless defenders. Oh sure I made famous the stab step, rubber neck juke, explosive cross-over that left a defender with a badly sprained ankle and a soiled panty, but once I got past the defender, I also had a deadly one handed floater in the lane. (Unfortunately due to my career ending injuries I am reduced to floating air biscuits in the bleachers of section 109.) Anyway, where was I? Oh yea, the Box & One. So in order to contain me and my explosive cross-over dribble, some coach came up with a brilliant idea. He invented the Box & One. But it was a little different from what we see today. Back then when they played a Box & One, they actually put the “Box” on me. Of course it didn’t matter. I went through those four defenders like a 16lb bowling ball on a 7-10 split. It was ugly, guys sprawled out on the court with fudge striped shorts holding their ankles and moaning like they had been kicked square in the grapes (that can be very painful). Eventually they realized they were going through more ace bandages and laundry bleach than they could afford, so the Box & One was nixed.
Now even though the original Box & One was not effective on me, the evolved version where they play the “One” on the opposing teams best player has proven to be an effective way to force the other weaker players into having to take more of the shots. I would like to see HCGM give it a try. If it works and we win, I would like to be fairly compensated for my advice. By fair I mean, season tickets behind the bench OR a lifetime supply of burritos from Taco Shop.

[AZ Shocker]

Beautiful Tyrone....beautiful!!!

[Topher77]

I love this post. Not only relevant but entertaining.

[Shock Top]

It worked when we played against "Big Baby" @ #6 LSU in the '06-'07 season.

(Such an exciting start that year. Crazy highs and lows that season.)

[forevershockerfan]

Another masterpiece by Tyrone Shoelace!!!!!!!

[1979Shocker]

From American gangster to crossover legend

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blackhistory2008/columns/story?page=buckheit/080207

[Rosewood]

I can't quit you Tyrone.

[forevershockerfan]

With the big game coming up against UNI I wanted to offer HCGM a coaching tip. We should play a Box & One on Seth Tuttle. Trust me, I am Tyrone Shoelace and I know basketball. Furthermore, I know a LOT about the Box & One. Why you may ask? Let me give you a little history lesson. Back in the early 70’s when I invented the cross-over dribble, opposing coaches were scratching their heads over how to stop my reign of terror on their helpless defenders. Oh sure I made famous the stab step, rubber neck juke, explosive cross-over that left a defender with a badly sprained ankle and a soiled panty, but once I got past the defender, I also had a deadly one handed floater in the lane. (Unfortunately due to my career ending injuries I am reduced to floating air biscuits in the bleachers of section 109.) Anyway, where was I? Oh yea, the Box & One. So in order to contain me and my explosive cross-over dribble, some coach came up with a brilliant idea. He invented the Box & One. But it was a little different from what we see today. Back then when they played a Box & One, they actually put the “Box” on me. Of course it didn’t matter. I went through those four defenders like a 16lb bowling ball on a 7-10 split. It was ugly, guys sprawled out on the court with fudge striped shorts holding their ankles and moaning like they had been kicked square in the grapes (that can be very painful). Eventually they realized they were going through more ace bandages and laundry bleach than they could afford, so the Box & One was nixed.
Now even though the original Box & One was not effective on me, the evolved version where they play the “One” on the opposing teams best player has proven to be an effective way to force the other weaker players into having to take more of the shots. I would like to see HCGM give it a try. If it works and we win, I would like to be fairly compensated for my advice. By fair I mean, season tickets behind the bench OR a lifetime supply of burritos from Taco Shop.

Tyrone, maybe putting you behind our opponents bench would be helpful if you will be indulging in multiple burritos during the game.