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Outer Space Wu?

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  • Outer Space Wu?

    The Potential Extra-Terrestrial Origins of Wu.

    I cannot verify all the following claims, but the story goes as

    Decades ago, an extra-terrestrial craft, pausing at a curious
    water planet to take on supplies and graffiti a few wheat fields with
    crop circles, was sighted hovering above Sedgwick county, Kansas.
    While hovering low, and just as it was dotting the i in a nice piece
    of crop art, spelling coincidentally, Wichita, the craft was caught
    in a massive downdraft of a passing tornado, and was in peril of
    crashing. Their cargo on this trip, a massive hybrid seed bound for a
    far corner of the milky way, was weighing the ship down and disaster
    was eminent, so a decision was made to jettison the cargo, to save
    the ship. As fate would have it, this seed fell directly into the
    dotted eye of the crop art, leaving a sizeable crater in the wheat
    field. As a few curious farmers gathered to gawk at the crater and
    discuss this curious happening, a sprout began emerging from the
    crater. Growing at fantastic speed, before the startled men could
    mobilize their herbicide sprayers, this amazing growth loosened
    itself from the ground, and to the astonishment of all, ran off into a
    nearby hedgerow. But this growth was no ordinary weed, as the world
    would soon discover! Traveling under the cover of darkness to avoid
    detection, this amazing growth, already intelligent beyond all earthly
    measure, made his way towards the nearest center of higher learning,
    hoping to request asylum from the biology department chair, and as
    fate would have it, arrived on campus at Wichita State University.
    Though initially apprehensive, the senior faculty of the biology department,
    (after consulting, of course, with the anthropology department,) was
    finally won over by the charm and charisma of this strange creature
    when he played several flawless Mozart violin concertos on a student
    violin which had been carelessly forgotten by a music student and left
    in the classroom that day. At the end of this exhilarating
    performance, those in attendance exclaimed spontaneously in unison,
    "Wu....! ", and of course, the name stuck.
    But as we know, the W.S.U. faculty can't keep any secret for
    long, and soon the dean, and then the president heard the rumors. Not
    wanting to be known for harboring a noxious, potentially dangerous
    weed on campus, The president immediately ordered a battery of medical
    tests to be performed. The results were so astounding, many are still
    classified to this day, but leaks can confirm at least this much...
    Though this creature's blood runs pitch black, his heart was
    determined to be of SOLID GOLD !!! One third plant, (and no
    vegetable, I might add), one third animal, (ask any campus coed), and
    one third human, beyond all this, he was discovered to have powers not
    of this world! One of these powers is the ability to be in many
    places, (some potentially dangerous) at seemingly the same time. He
    can be seen fraternizing in the student section at Koch Arena one
    second, parading the shocker flags in the jungle of the Coleman Hills
    in Eck Stadium the next, or hanging out in the R.A.C. and high fiving
    hundreds of future shockers all along the way. Though determined to be
    potentially extra-terrestrial, it is rumored he sprouted with two extra
    testicles. This might explain his courage and stamina, as well as the
    Shocker beauties who are always lined up for his famous hugs. Though
    amazingly ever tempered, it is well known that he has not much love
    for purple cats, or goofy looking birds. And, whenever you hand him a
    baseball and bat, his expression turns downright scary. But there is
    no malice in the heart of this sprout, and he has become famous around
    the world. So famous in fact, that it is believed he has attracted the
    attention of The Bill Gates Foundation, who would like to imprison his
    amazing genetics in the doomsday caverns of the the Svalbard, Norway
    Global Seed Vault. To this date, (unless this information is
    classified by Homeland Security), no successful clone of this amazing
    organism has ever been successfully produced.
    One thing is for sure. The very existence of this incredible
    hybrid sprout has confounded the dogmas of the Neo-Darwinists, as they
    scramble to try to explain away this truly unique specimen. Neither
    uniformitarianism, nor natural selection will ever delineate his
    origins. No paleontologist, or anthropologist has ever produced an
    answer for the dilemma of "Wuzian Paradox". But I believe that this
    proves one thing for certain. We are certainly not alone in this
    universe. The very existence of our Wu is indisputable evidence of a
    universe of intelligent design. With this said, there is one thing
    that we as a species on this planet can do, and that is to strive to
    be a lot more like Wu.
    Semper Wu !!!

  • #2
    Infinity Art Glass - Fantastic local artist and Shocker fan
    RIP Guy Always A Shocker
    Downsizing Government - Part of the Cato Institute
    Carpenter Place - A blessing to many young girls/women
    Cato Institute - A libertarian take on the issues
    ICT S.O.S - Great local cause fighting against human trafficking
    Wartick Insurance Agency - Saved me money with more coverage.
    MVCFans Alternative, Where ALL Voices Can Be Heard - Come join the party


    • #3
      And what Planet did you say you were from? :whistle:


      • #4
        The night Wu slept with Sulu??? :rofl:


        • #5
          Sulu got some Wu Tang?
          Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss