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  • Guy Fi Stress Relieving Booths?

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/manhattan/manhattan-guyfi-booth-men-relieve-stress-article-1.2499002

    "The masturbation-themed marketing scheme was inspired by a Time Out survey, which concluded that 39% of the New York men questioned admitted to masturbating while at work
    "

    After reading this article I thought of my good friend from Omaha, MoValley John!
    An “Old West” Texas analysis and summary of Mueller report and Congress’ efforts in one sentence:

    "While we recognize that the subject did not actually steal any horses, he is obviously guilty of trying to resist being hanged for it."

  • #2
    Yeah, if you ain't beating, you ain't trying.

    I've never choked the chicken at the office. I've never bopped the bishop at work. I've never beat the meat while on the clock. I've never cleaned the rifle while on the clock.

    Eating grapes with the one-armed man

    Electing the President

    Engage in safe sex

    Exercise one's right

    Exercising your right to privacy

    Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love

    Feed the ducks

    Feeding bologna to the Smurfs

    Feeling your way around

    Fiddle the flesh flute

    Firing the pound gun

    Fishing with dynamite

    Fist your mister

    Five knuckle shuffle

    Flick your Bic

    Fling your phallus

    Flip the bishop

    Flipping your omelet

    Flog the bishop

    Flog the dolphin

    Flog the dong

    Flog the log

    Flog the mule

    Flogging the egg man

    Fly fishing

    Fondle your flagpole

    Free Willy

    Frost the pastries

    Frosting your maple bar

    Frying up the corndog

    Gallop the old lizard

    Gardening with the golden trowel

    Genital stimulation via phallengetic motion

    Get a date with Slick Mittens

    Get the German soldier marching

    Get to know yourself

    Get your pole varnished

    Give it a tug

    Give your low five

    Giving the half-blind dog a run for his money

    Go a couple of rounds with ol' Josh

    Go blind

    Go on a date with Fisty Palmer

    Go on a date with Handrea and Palmela

    Go the blow

    Going Hans Solo on Darth Vader's head
    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

    Comment


    • #3
      Make instant pudding

      Make the bald man puke

      Making a cash withdrawal

      Making chowder with sailor Ned

      Making it up as you go along

      Making magic with leftovers

      Making soup

      Making the bald man cry

      Making the bread rise

      Making the world safe for democracy

      Mangle the midget

      Manipulate the mango

      Manual labor

      Manual override

      Master Bacon, meet Rosie Hancock

      Meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters

      Milk the lizard

      Milk the moose

      Milk the self

      Mount a corporal and four

      Much goo about nothing

      Nerk your throbber

      Null the void

      Oil the glove

      Onan's olympics

      One gun salute

      One man band

      One-night-stand with yourself

      Opening the flood gates

      Pack your palm

      Paddle the pickle

      Paint the ceiling

      Paint the pickle

      Painting the flag pole

      Painting the picket fence

      Palm the calm

      Paying at the turnpike

      Peel the banana

      Perform diagnostics on your man tool

      Pet the lizard

      Pip the pumpkin

      Play a little five-on-one
      There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

      Comment


      • #4
        :yahoo:
        An “Old West” Texas analysis and summary of Mueller report and Congress’ efforts in one sentence:

        "While we recognize that the subject did not actually steal any horses, he is obviously guilty of trying to resist being hanged for it."

        Comment


        • #5
          stroke the dog,stroke your poker,talk with Rosy Palm and her five little sisters,tickle your pickle,thump your pumper,tweak your twinkie,unclog the pipes,varnish your pole,walk the dog,watch the eyelid movies,wax your dolphin,whip your dripper,whizzin' jizzum,wonk your conker,yang your wang,yank the yam,yank your crank,
          There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

          Comment


          • #6
            The mods may not like it, but this may be my favorite thread ever.

            Thanks, JJ!
            There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

            Comment


            • #7
              There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

              Comment


              • #8
                This clip is FUNNY!
                There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Working up the mayonaise.
                  There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Earning a dishonorable discharge.
                    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      All these euphemisms, children of the 80s, and nothing about turning Japanese?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by RoyalShock View Post
                        All these euphemisms, children of the 80s, and nothing about turning Japanese?
                        Great song!

                        That said, I'm partial to Blister in the Sun.

                        Yeah, big hands you know your the one!
                        There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by MoValley John View Post
                          Great song!

                          That said, I'm partial to Blister in the Sun.

                          Yeah, big hands you know your the one!
                          Let me go oooo oooo oooo oonnn ....
                          Kung Wu say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!

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