Humor

[WstateU]

An oldie, but goodie…

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0JhMhkqwig/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0ScYjIs476/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[pinstripers]

The young priest stands in for Father O’Reilly while he’s on holiday.
The old priest leaves a list of sins and a list of appropriate penances.
After mass, a woman goes into the confessionary and says. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”
“What is your sin, my daughter?
“I stole $5 from the husband’s wallet”
The priest looks at his list and tells her, “Say three Hail Mary’s and one Our Father and you’ll get absolution.”
A second woman comes in and says “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”
The priest says, ” What’s your sin, my daughter?”
She says ” I gave a total stranger oral sex .”
The priest looked down the list and can’t find that listed so he goes out into the church and sees the cleaning lady sweeping up and says “what does Father O’Reilly give for oral sex?” and she says…
“15 bucks if I really put my heart into it.....

[pinstripers]

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed, ' she replied..

' Well, strip down to your waist, ' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ' No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk. '

I know, ' she said, 'I'm not his Mother, I'm his Grandma, But I'm really glad I came.'

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[pinstripers]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of live chickens and a live goose to cook for Christmas. Outside the store he realized he now had a problem - how to carry all his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little widow lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 160 Mockingbird Lane?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to there. I would walk you there but I can't carry all this stuff.'

The lady suggested, 'Well.....why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley, we'll be there in no time.'

The little lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt and have your way with me?

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

She replied, 'Well...... you could set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket and I could hold them chickens for ya."

[WstateU]

[WstateU]

[JJClamdip]

Beaver?

[pinstripers]

WOW

[WstateU]