Humor

[WstateU]

Good news for some, possibly, I'm happy. Just saw this announced:



Beavis and Butt-Head are 'entering a whole new Gen Z world' in an upcoming reboot
Heh heh. The 90s MTV and Gen X icons are headed back to television. Creator Mike Judge will oversee two new seasons, that feature "meta-themes relatable to both new and old fans —Gen X parents and their Gen Z kids.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1278362510844809216

"I am the Great Cornholio, I need T.P. for my bunghole"

[WstateU]

[pinstripers]

[MikeKennedyRulZ]

Good news for some, possibly, I'm happy. Just saw this announced:



Beavis and Butt-Head are 'entering a whole new Gen Z world' in an upcoming reboot
Heh heh. The 90s MTV and Gen X icons are headed back to television. Creator Mike Judge will oversee two new seasons, that feature "meta-themes relatable to both new and old fans —Gen X parents and their Gen Z kids.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1278362510844809216

[im4wsu]

Three doctors in the locker room after golf.

The first says, I did the most amazing surgery. This guy had severed all the fingers on his right hand, but I was able to re-attach the fingers and he is now a renowned concert pianist.

Second doctor says, I was able to re-attach the completely severed legs of a young athlete and he is going to be running in the olympics next year.

The third said, I can top that. A horse had a horrific accident and they brought me the many pieces. I reassembled the horse and she is now running Congress.

[pinstripers]

"Son, we need to talk."

"Yes, Dad?"

"Your mother told me that she found you watching inappropriate videos on the computer."

".....uh......"

"Son, those videos are nothing but trash. Watching that kind of filth will make you go blind."

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I'm over here...."

[WstateU]

"Son, we need to talk."

"Yes, Dad?"

"Your mother told me that she found you watching inappropriate videos on the computer."

".....uh......"

"Son, those videos are nothing but trash. Watching that kind of filth will make you go blind."

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I'm over here...."

[pogo]

Oh great. Now we have offended blind asians

[pinstripers]

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bItches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bItches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen."

[WstateU]

[pinstripers]

Conjoined twins walk into the R.S.L in George Town and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Boags beers please.'

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. 'Been on holiday yet, lads?'

'Off to the states next month,' says John. 'We go to America every year, hire a car. and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?'
Jim agrees.

'Ah, America!' says the bartender. 'Wonderful Country ... the land of the free....'

'Nah, we don't like the yanks,' says John. 'Good old Tassie, that's us, eh, Jim? We can't stand the yanks; they're so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Aussies.'

'So why keep going back there?' asks the bartender.

'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'

[JVShocker]

[pinstripers]

Two identical twin brothers, George and Ted, turned 100. George's hearing was just as good as ever, but Ted was about half deaf.

An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers' picture. "I'm going to take your picture," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted.

"She says she's going to take our picture," replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Inside the room were two chairs. "Now sit down in these chairs," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted.

"She says we should sit down in these chairs," replied George. So George and Ted sat down in the chairs.

The photographer pulled out her camera and pointed it at the birthday brothers. "Now let me focus," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted. "She says she's going to focus," replied George.

"Wow!" exclaimed Ted. "Both of us at the same time?"

[im4wsu]

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.


Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.



Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.

For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.


About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.


She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body!
I don 't even know who you are!'


The Texan smiled and drawled,



"Well, ma'am,
normally I would agree with you,
but after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends."

[im4wsu]

HERE’S A TEST
FOR YOU

Don't scroll past the animals until you have decided which animal will win...... There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are four animals.. , A Lion A Chimp A Giraffe ...AND... A Squirrel They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully... Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis. : If your answer is: Lion = you're dull. Chimpanzee = you're dense. Giraffe = you're a complete moron. Squirrel = you're hopeless. A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS. Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax. Have two glasses of wine. A full box of Chocolates. And a nice lunch.