Mental Health

[SubGod22]

I know that we've discussed aspects of mental health in other threads over the past few years. Strangely enough, the topic can be a bit depressing at times. Over the years, as I've come to understand it a bit more, and acknowledge my own struggles with anxiety and depression, I've become much more open about it. Not only in regards to myself and my own battles, but just in general and trying to be an advocate for making it a less taboo topic and de-stigmatize it a bit. I know people who have lost people close to them. I know others who have had that scare and it woke them up to what's really going on in the lives and minds of their children. We hear the stories and sometimes they reach people and sometimes some just gloss over them.

I'm only saying this because I just read an article about a local girl who lost her battle. It's a really good article and her friends and family are trying to spread goodness and education in her name. I feel bad for the survivors as you can tell in their quotes that they saw some of the signs, but didn't act for one reason or another. Or they simply didn't understand the full extent of how bad it had gotten.

This is why I try to advocate for reaching out to people. You don't have to bring up their mental state, but sometimes checking on them goes a long way. And you may pick up on things being worse than you thought and you can go from there. I think a lot of people simply don't know how to reach out, thinking that they have to have some grand plan or they simply think they have to talk about what's wrong and don't know how to approach it. It's better to have that awkward conversation than to have the guilt you feel when that loved one may no longer be here. I'm not blaming any of the friends or family by any means, those comments are based on some of the quotes in the article I'll share below.

I'm not entirely sure what this thread will be about or become. I'll use this to share news or stories from time to time. I hope that if anyone is struggling with anything or simply wants to talk about their own battles with things they can do it here. Sometimes it's easier to address things like this from behind a keyboard with people you may not know than face to face with those that you do. I get it.

Myself, I've dealt with anxiety (social mostly) all my life. It wasn't as noticeable in my youth because I grew up in a small town where I knew everyone. You develop a certain comfort level with the familiar. But as I've thought back on it I can see certain things that seem obvious now. Whenever I was outside that core group of people I was different. It's all good. I also never liked being the center of attention, at least when I didn't have a ball in my hands and was put there quite a bit growing up. It always made me uneasy. Some of that may also have to do with my introversion. I also got sick my sophomore year of HS. So much so that in about a months time I went from a healthy and athletic 180 pounds or so to a weak and constantly exhausted 120lbs. I think this is when the more drastic changes started and the depression creeped into my life. My whole identity growing up was built around athletics, and mostly basketball. I had to finish out the year going to school for half days because I didn't have the strength and energy to make it all day. I was forbidden from doing any strenuous activities over the summer by my doctors and wasn't cleared for anything until about a week before basketball practice was to begin that fall. I'm not saying that I couldn't have pushed through and rebuilt myself and got back to the level I was before, but I didn't have the mental state at that point, nor did I have the support there that encouraged or pushed me to do so. I think most of my friends and family just assumed I was done and would never recover. My coaches quit on me and I pretty much let it all happen. I spent the next few years pretty lost. I'd put on the smiling face or whatever, but I was dealing with a lot of things internally.

It really sucks when you lose that of which you've spent so much of your life on, through no real fault of your own. Life isn't fair, but as a 16 year old kid, that can be tough. I'll also say that a lot of these thoughts are based upon reflection and I didn't fully understand a lot of it at the time. Maybe I should have also been seeing a therapist during this time. That's not something my dad would have ever supported, but a lot more kids probably should talk to professionals in general. I spiraled a bit in my mid 20s and got to a point where I had a number of friends concerned about my well being. I was in a dark place and although I've never actually thought about doing something to end my own existence, I did constantly think about how much I wouldn't be missed and how little I've done to impact others. We all have greater impacts on those around us than we realize, and it's humbling when one of those people actually tells you about it. But at the time, I didn't see that. I stopped wearing a seat belt during this time and sometimes hoped I would get taken out by a drunk driver while traveling home from officiating a game somewhere. So while I haven't considered taking an active part in ending it, I've been in places where I get how easy it would be to slide into that thinking. It probably didn't help that all of my closest friends had gotten married and some started having kids and I was just sitting at home alone doing what I felt was nothing with my life. At that point, I still hadn't figured out who I was without basketball. Anyway, I've dealt with some of that stuff off and on over the years. Going through a break up a few years later, especially once I learned more about the circumstances surround it, I lost myself again for a while.

I will say, that there was that time in my mid 20s or so when I had some concerned friends reach out. It made a difference. It doesn't solve anything, but it helps. I did some self reflection and wen through a program that helped me, at the time, deal with some of the things that were hampering my life and put me in a better place. And in more recent years, especially because I've been open about things on socials and such, I have people in my life that whenever they sense something is off, they reach out. It matters. It really does.

This post got a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but it's something I'm passionate about. I don't want people to feel alone. To feel like they have nothing to live for. I've been seeing a therapist since July of '21 and while we've been focusing mostly on my anxiety issues, that alone has helped the depression issues. My anxiety would keep me from getting outside or around people and you sometimes forget how important that is and how much that can impact depression and our overall well being.

So below is a bit on the story of Remi Young, who departed too soon.

Fox 4 KC - KU cheerleader dies by suicide, family starts foundation

WICHITA, Kan. (KSNW) – A beautiful soul, a personality that lit up a room, and a smile as pure as they come. Remington Hope Young, 20, was known for her go-get-it attitude and love for life.

“She is just the color yellow as a human, just the brightest, happiest person in every room,” said friend Kendyl Johnson.

“She was a good kid all the way around,” said Remington’s mom Amy Young. “If someone was being bullied, she would be the person that, you know, would stick up for them. It was just who she was.”

“Glowing, outgoing, the most beautiful heart,” said family friend Carmen Johnson.

Behind the smile and the positivity Remington, known by many as Remi, was fighting a dark battle, a battle that would eventually take her life.
.....
Mental Health Resources


Whether it’s for a family member, friend, co-worker, or for yourself, there is help out there for anyone needing help with mental health.

Here are some resources:

• COMCARE 24-hour Community Crisis Line: 316-660-7500
• Mental Health Association of South Central Kansas: 316-685-1821
• United Way of the Plains: 211
• Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration: 1-800-662-help (4357)
• Psychology Today: Find therapists in your area, see who takes your insurance, and learn more information about mental health
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Chat online or call 988

[ShockerDropOut]

It takes a lot of strength to share such a personal story. I am glad you have people in your life that can and do reach out to you. If you ever need an ear to listen, I look have two. Thanks for sharing.

[SHOXAAC]

Sub…make no mistake about it, when you don’t post for awhile, you are missed around here. Your presence matters. Your insights matters…especially around this subject. Thanks for sharing.

[SubGod22]

Appreciate the remarks above. It almost seems impossible that any of us might not know someone, or someone who knew someone, that has left this world too soon. And it's not just about suicide. There are still segments of the population that think anything regarding mental illness is a weakness and you can just get over it. I think we have done better as a society in recent years of bringing the subject out of the shadows and shining a light on it. Not enough, but it's definitely better than where we were ten to twenty years ago and more.

I think I mentioned in another thread that I have friends who were greatly impacted by a young man that took his life after returning from the Middle East. I knew the guy. I graduated HS with his older brother and I believe he was two years younger than me. Good kid. Funny. One of my best friends to this day was close to him and in the same class. There were others I was friends with and I felt the impact through them. I have a niece who at one point was cutting herself and I was oblivious. Her sister knew but remained quiet for at least a bit, but realized something was wrong. I'm not sure if it got worse or if she just reached a point where she knew she had to say something. My niece got help and is doing great. I believe she's currently in a nursing program.

We all know people who are struggling with something. I'm not perfect, but I'm really striving to be a better person to others. I don't think I was ever horrible, but my daily snark and sarcasm would come off poorly sometimes. Especially to people who didn't really know me....and my sister. I've always generally been a pretty optimistic person when it comes to others, and then been extra hard on myself. It's another battle I'm working on. Sometimes it's hard when you hold yourself to standards that you wouldn't hold others to, and others wouldn't hold you to. I also figure, none of us know what others are dealing with so I try to give others grace whenever possible.

It's one reason I started the Sliver of Hope thread. Fun, uplifting or inspiring stories. Generally of things that we don't see every day or we never know how any one individual would respond. I also have the thread on dogs and I post positive dog stories in when I come across them. I don't know how much most care about those threads and I really don't care. If one in ten stories I share make one person smile or feel good about something I consider it a win. There's also the medical breakthrough/news thread which I hope provides some insight into where research is going and gives people a little hope from time to time that the future will be better for others. Or in the politics forum where the Global Warming thread is mostly centered around the political aspect and I try to share positive about discoveries in tech or design that can help limit pollution and clean water and the air regardless of if you think warming is caused by man or just a natural cycle of the Earth. I try to find the stories that can inspire and try to get beyond the politics. I don't think I'm successful there but I'll keep trying. Or the space thread recently that I'm hoping will allow us to discuss the positive contributions that the new space race will give us and the wonder of where our imaginations and drive will take us next.

Maybe I'm naive in some of that. If I am, I'm perfectly okay with it. I won't always be positive, especially when it comes to sports and poor play. I'm no saint. But I can try to be better. I can try to have a more positive influence on others, those I truly know and those I don't. I don't have to be remembered, I just have to do my part to make things better in some way.

I keep getting side tracked, but I'm serious when I talk about this being a passion of mine. And it's easier to project that passion from mostly anonymity where I don't have to worry about my anxiety holding me back. Plus, here you can choose to read my thoughts or skip them. If we're face to face you're simply stuck listening to me go on and on and then apologizing for subjecting you to the word train that I just projected onto you :)

I truly hope you're all well and have people to talk to if/when needed. I hope we can all be aware that our actions and words can have consequences, especially to those who are truly struggling. I hope we can all learn to be more compassionate to those around us. We can differ in opinions. We can differ in beliefs. We can differ in race or gender or country of origin. We can also still get along with one another and be kind.

Bless you all.

[RoyalShock]

Sub, I really appreciate you being so candid about your passion and struggles. I have a son who, while at WSU and in the first year of Covid had a panic attack that sent him to the hospital and has struggled with anxiety since. Fortunately he's been very open with me about it, calling whenever he felt anxious and has so far avoided any serious depression and doing much better. He also sought out a mental health professional and is on meds to help. Those things can strike just about anyone in our lives, and many of us may not even know.

I'm very glad you've come as far as you have. And like others have said, your presence here was missed and we're happy to have you back. The positive threads and posts in the off-topic and politics forms are mostly why I still check in there!

[SubGod22]

Sorry to hear about your son, but I'm thankful that he's open and honest about it and has sought help. I wish I'd done it sooner. I've been open amongst friends but it took me a few years longer than it should have to see a professional.

I haven't been put on any meds as of yet. The first thing I told my therapist when we started was meds are a last resort for me. While my anxiety and such can be problematic, I could also acknowledge that I know there are people who it has an even greater impact on. And some people may not understand their triggers and it might seem kind of random. There is definitely a place for meds, I just didn't want to see someone who resorted to that immediately for me as I felt I was someone who could utilize exposure therapy and learn how to process and get through things. I just don't want this to sound like I'm knocking meds at all. They serve a purpose and some people absolutely need them. My sister is in a much better place since she started taking something.

However, my therapist brought them up as a possible option as I've run into some road blocks, especially while I was on vacation last month. Most of my vacation time involves me getting out in nature and seeing things away from large groups. It also gets me up and moving more and I am trying to lose weight, which I know has an impact on my mental health. I was at one state park that had a lot of people and had a few moments where I had to sit and wait for things to clear out a bit. But the big one was when I was in my hotel room in Sault Ste. Marie, MI. I have a sweet tooth and enjoy trying to find new candies and soda's and such. I even created a FB page to document such things that some friends follow. I was hoping that page would help push me to get out and find things and be around people and it's had mixed success. Anyway, I got to my room and took a nap for an hour or so as it had been a bit of a drive, but within a quarter of a mile, there was a little shop that made its own fudge, another that made its own chocolate and yet another that made its own ice cream. Jackpot! I figured I'd try at least one of them out, but when I woke up and was trying to get up and go check it out, I physically couldn't move. My arms and legs just felt heavy. This was a new experience and I think it's what triggered my therapist in bringing up the possibility of meds, even if a temporary solution to help me get over the hump. Again, I'm not anti-meds, I just know that they can be over used and can become a crutch for some people. Maybe I'm just stubborn and am so focused on getting past the worst of this without it that I'm blinding myself.

Before we approach the meds, she sent me to a second therapist that she works with, but this lady focuses more on how gut health and such effect mental health and how certain levels of such and such impact this and that. So, I'm currently taking a few natural supplements and trying to be better about cooking for myself in hopes that we'll start moving forward again.

Basically, there's no one size fits all approach. I was lucky enough to understand on some level where mine comes from and how it manifests and knew what I wanted to do going into therapy. I also have a friend in the field who would let me bounce things off of her from time to time. I think I said it above but I know I'm blessed to have such a great support system amongst friends, and some family. It goes a long way.

This was a long way into saying I'm glad your son has received help and I'm assuming he's doing fairly well. Covid and the shutdowns were an absolute ***** for mental health. It made things worse for many of us that knew we had some level of issues with it and it created or intensified it for those that didn't struggle, or struggle enough to feel impacted.

Also, I'm glad to be back. But the previous leader of this board was bad for my mental health. Kung Wu has been absolutely fantastic in how this board is now operated. Much more like when you and your crew were in charge of things.

[RoyalShock]

I understand your reluctance to meds. I'm the same way personally. I think my son feared another panic attack (he thought he was having a massive, life-ending heart attack), so it didn't take much convincing. He has also had times of just feeling "heavy" like you describe.

[SubGod22]

I understand your reluctance to meds. I'm the same way personally. I think my son feared another panic attack (he thought he was having a massive, life-ending heart attack), so it didn't take much convincing. He has also had times of just feeling "heavy" like you describe.

I always worry about coming off as anti-med because it's not the immediate direction I wanted to go. That "heavy" feeling was odd and new. In my mind, I was trying to will myself to go because I really wanted to, but apparently somewhere in my head there was part of me that won and said nope, not going to happen. I'm not sure I've ever had a panic attack to the level of what your son experienced. I was once in Ikea up in KC, first time I'd been there and I was solo, and I had gone through the entire store and missed what I was looking for. Knowing I had to turn around and try to find it, things got weird. I posted something about it on FB and went off to the side and tried to control my breathing a bit. I had that anxious jittery sort of feeling but also a fear factor. I had a friend who at the time lived a few minutes away and she offered to come help me. I declined, but I think knowing I had someone relatively close if things got worse helped. I did finally find what I was looking for and got out of there as quick as I could.

It really is scary when things like that happen, especially when you're alone. Hell, I was at a costume party a couple of weeks ago and it was fun, but the energy level was much higher than I anticipated and there were more strangers there than I was used to and I spaced out a few times. Nearly walked outside onto the deck to get away from it all for a bit, and probably should have, but I also didn't want to potentially make a scene or worry anyone so I kind of stayed in my zombiefied state (I wasn't dressed as a zombie) either sitting at the table or standing in the corner of the kitchen away from most people.

And again, I'm not trying to compare my experiences to your sons. Especially since it sounds like his kind of came out of nowhere and I've been aware of and processing mine for years on some level, and even before seeking help I used to listen to a podcast called The Anxious Truth by a guy who had dealt with agoraphobia and some other things. He stresses that he's not a professional but he simply discussed things from his perspective and experiences and while I was never quite as bad as he was at one point, I could connect with a lot of things he and others said. That's actually where I learned about exposure therapy and it just made sense to me and for me. When my friend recommended about eight different therapists for me, upon my request, I specifically looked for ones that mentioned exposure therapy and that's how I found the lady I go to now. She's been great and we've come a long way since July of '21.

I really can't preach the importance of seeing a professional enough. As well as being open an honest about our struggles, even if it's just with a couple of trusted people. For too long, the stigma that has been associated to mental health and the shame it puts into the minds of those who are fighting the battle, has prevented many from getting better and seeking assistance.

I'm sorry these posts get so long. I just want people to do whatever they need to do to live a better life. I did a lot of harm to myself in that way by pushing it down for a number of years and I sometimes where I'd be professionally or romantically had I taken care of business at a younger age and maybe stopped things from getting as bad as they did. I don't want to see others do that and if anything I say or do can help anyone in some way either open up, or educate themselves a bit more or seek help, then it's a win.

[atlwsu]

My daughter, her husband and 3 kids moved in with my wife and at the beginning of 2011. Both adults were experiencing health issues. When my S-I-L got reasonably well, when his seizure stopped, he left his family with me and my wife. After the divorce he disappeared. Paid maybe 12 months child support in the 10+ years he has been gone.

He left behind a sick, both physically and mentally, ill wife and kids 4, 7 and 8. Many years after he left, I found out he abuse all 4 of them. The two older children, boys, have claimed/shared with me they were sexually abused along with emotionally and physically abuse. The youngest, a girl, has never shared a single thing with me. He abused my daughter physically and mentally. She continues to suffer from it.

There issues in the kids did not manifest themselves until puberty and they have been pretty severe. They isolation from Covid was devastating to the boys. Both have been institutionalize 3 times each for a week at a time. Both are avid internet researchers and self diagnose. They refuse both therapy and medication. The youngest has expressed some interest in spiritual things, the oldest not so much. They both have high average IQs, both excuse themselves from any responsibility because of their abuse and the resulting depression. I am the only male in either of their lives they relate to in any significant way, and we have good relationships.

Both dropped out of high school. It took me pushing very hard to get them to work. Now they both are working part time and are enjoying the freedom, activity, and money that come from work.

Tough road, I don't see an end yet. It takes an abundance of patience and love for my wife and I to navigate daily life with the responsibilities associated with 4 very dependent people living in our house. I see the ineptitude, inefficiency and callous nature of government "assistance" up close and wonder why we would give them anymore responsibility to determine and distribute "benefits."

maybe more later maybe not

[SubGod22]

That's a lot for them and you and your wife to deal with. I can't even imagine what any aspect of that. That level of trauma is something I can't fully process. I've dealt with the mental/emotional abuse and I've witnessed physical abuse and that's all bad enough, but when you add the sexual abuse it just goes to a whole other level.

Self diagnosis is a double edged sword. I have a friend who has a wife that does that, and then uses tele-health to get medicated for things she probably doesn't really need medicated for. Sounds like you're on the other end of that spectrum. For me, having a grasp and understanding helped me seek what I felt was the right treatment/person. Unfortunately, it sounds like in your case, they feel that they know enough and think they're dealing with things how they need to be. But they're also still quite young and maybe with some time they'll confront it. You can't force people to get help when they don't want it, and if you can force them to go, if they're not open to it, it's a waste of time and money.

Hopefully, some of this new found independence might open them up to some positives. Maybe some responsibilities and some self reliance will open their minds to a slightly larger world.

And being someone who doesn't have kids I'm not sure what else I can offer even from a support side. You and your family are in my prayers.

You are by no means required to answer, as all of this stuff is very personal and we each choose what to share or not. Has your daughter seen professional help? I'm just wondering if there could be any positive residual impact on the kids if she were to see someone and make some level of noticeable improvement. Sometimes, seeing others benefit from something can help. It's not a guarantee by any means, and some trauma takes much longer to get to and through than others so it can still be a time consuming process.

I'm just throwing out the thoughts in my head. I'm no professional, though I know a few.

I'm going to shut up now.

[pogo]

I am always amazed at The resilience of the human spirit and the individual ability to face adversity and stare it down. I wish you both well as well as those that are close to you. I wish there was more that I could say or do but suffice it to be that you both will be in my thoughts.

[SubGod22]

I'm just going to continue to be transparent about myself. Never know who or how it may help someone.

At the recommendation of my therapist, I had a medication consultation last week. Spent the better part of an hour talking to a nurse about my history and whatnot so she could recommend what she felt was best for me. There was some interesting dialogue about my past trauma and my most recent (October vacation) anxiety attack as well as discussion my depression, which hasn't been as bad since we've addressed my anxiety, but still exists.

We discussed what my sister has had success with as anxiety issues and such can have a biological connection. She also recommended I look into SAD light therapy, or something along those lines. I haven't looked much into it yet, but it's on my list of things to do, as well as discuss it with my regular therapist. The Mayo Clinic seems to support the usage of such light therapy, but she also stressed that if I do order one, make sure it's the correct kind, because there are apparently different lights for different therapies. I'm a bit skeptical, but she did pull up the Mayo Clinic website which would seem to give it validity. It just sounds weird to me. You apparently use it for 20 to 30 minutes a couple times per week and it's supposed to have a positive impact on your mood. Would love any input from others if you have any experience or knowledge of the SAD lights, positive or negative.

I was recommended Zoloft, and I opted to give it a go. I'm on the lowest dosage possible for a week, pills cut in half, before going up to the full lowest dosage of a full pill after that. I'm always nervous about things like this as I tend to focus on the negative side effects that are possible. Though the consultant stressed if anything seemed off or worse to stop taking it immediately and call her. She also gave me some information on some sort of DNA analysis I can do to help narrow down what should work best for me, if we struggle to find something quickly. She knows I'm medication reluctant or some such term and doesn't want to play non-stop guessing games as that may deter me from taking anything. I appreciated that, but those tests aren't cheap and I'm not sure insurance covers them.

I've only been medicated for a few days, started on Thanksgiving, and I haven't necessarily noticed any difference, but I also haven't been out of the house outside of a very awkward dinner at my parents house on Thursday. I've always avoided going out for Black Friday or that weekend in general. Too much chaos and I don't think that's the anxiety talking.

I'll see how it goes and check back in down the road on it. I'm curious to see how I'm feeling on this in a month or so and if I notice anything. It'll be hard to judge unless I push myself out into public at a time of year I generally avoid doing too much of that as crowds seem to grow between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[jdmee]

Thanks for sharing Sub. The more people talk about mental health issues the more people can realize that it is nothing to be ashamed about.

My wife experiences many of the anxiety issues you talk about. Zoloft has helped her a lot. There is also an understanding that during family gatherings, sometimes she just needs her time/space. It is not personal.

One thing to remember is that the mind/body is a very complex thing. What works for one might not work for you. Don't get discouraged, just keep working with your doctor and you fill find something that will help.

We all care and wish you nothing but the best.

[SubGod22]

Thanks for sharing Sub. The more people talk about mental health issues the more people can realize that it is nothing to be ashamed about.

My wife experiences many of the anxiety issues you talk about. Zoloft has helped her a lot. There is also an understanding that during family gatherings, sometimes she just needs her time/space. It is not personal.

One thing to remember is that the mind/body is a very complex thing. What works for one might not work for you. Don't get discouraged, just keep working with your doctor and you fill find something that will help.

We all care and wish you nothing but the best.

That's why I try to be open and honest about things, especially on FB where I know my openness has had some impact, as I've been told as much.


Also, someone I started following on TikTok (@jazzthornton_), FaceBook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram (@jazzthornton) who I've found inspiring and impactful is Jazz Thornton. A quick recap if you're not familiar with her, she was abused as a young child and first attempted to take her life at I believe the age of 12, and tried a number of other times in the years following before getting set on the right track. She's been very open about her journey and you can find some good videos on YouTube where she talks more in depth about her journey.

Since finding her footing, she's written I believe three books, made a movie in 2020 "The Girl on the Bridge" and has won a number of awards, both in her home country of New Zealand and around the world. She's a leading advocate for mental health and a pretty fun follow on socials. I know she has a couple of different TikTok accounts. One is centered on mental health and the other is her more fun and relaxed side (@notjazzthornton), which is the one I first discovered while she was doing a series of 'Things she finds weird about America' while visiting a while back. These weren't bad things, just oddities as seen from someone that had never been here. She's funny, interesting and insightful and has had a huge impact on a number of people around the world.

Personally, I just ordered two of her books (Stop Surviving, Start Fighting; and Letters to You: Words of support and inspiration for difficult times) on Cyber Monday from a friends business, The Nook, in Baldwin City. I'm pretty excited to read what she's shared and hope that I can find more parts of her journey, and her words of wisdom, that help me moving forward.

She's also a co-founder of Voices of Hope, which is a mental health advocacy charity.

[SubGod22]

I like the logic and ambition behind the piece I'm about to link. I think I'd have a hard time coming up with enough things to do this, but I could see the benefits of at least attempting something similar and how it could positively impact ones mental health.

Improving Her Depression, Woman Tries Something New Every Day for a Year-And Vows to Keep it Up

During the pandemic, the 34-year-old suffered from anxiety and depression—but the lockdown made her realize that she was depending upon her routine as insurance to keep her going.

So, last year on December 27th—as the pandemic was fading—she decided to try something new every day for 100 days. When that period ended in April, she found herself eager to do more.

One full year later, the Englishwoman has completed her challenge—yet still has no plans to stop.

Jess completed a wide range of ‘firsts’, including bleeding a radiator, using a sewing machine, and joining a gardening group.

From her home in Surrey, she was able to visit European cities like Vienna, Budapest, Copenhagen, Dublin, and Krakow—and, back on home soil, she tried speed dating and line dancing.

“I feel pretty emotional about it to be honest,” said the resident of Redhill. “I can’t believe it.

They share a large list of things she did. Being able to push yourself to get out and experience things like this is kind of an exciting thought. It gets you out of the "norm" which will generally feed your anxiety and/or depression. I might try to do one new thing a week or something and see how it goes.

She admitted that one new thing every day was fairly unrealistic, and changed her goal to 365 things over the course of a year. So she could do multiple things one day which makes a lot more sense to me. Sometimes you simply need some rest and to chill, regardless of your mental state.

I have been working on exposure therapy so maybe that's why it does make more sense to me, though I've struggled with it in recent months. I think I rely on getting outside and away from groups so much that when the weather turns cold, I have less desire to do things, as my options are more focused on going into places and I worry about crowds. Even though I'm pretty sure most museums and such aren't going to be crowded, it's still a mental block I'm trying to push through. Same with dining out, though that has more to do with I don't really enjoy experiences like that, or going to the movies, solo. Not saying my anxiety doesn't play a part, but I've done those things and I think having grown up with those being shared experiences all of the time that that's still how I associate them and they lose some of the joy of the experience, at least in how I perceive it all.

I am hoping that when the weather gets consistently better that I will begin to get out and explore more of Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri and Arkansas on the weekends. I still need to work on enjoying some indoor things as well, but we'll get there.

I am going to look at her list more in depth later and see what I might be able to incorporate into my life and think about other things I can do and experience in a similar effort to stimulate my mind and see how that goes.