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My wife won't let me get a gator.

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  • #1

    My wife won't let me get a gator.

    I really want a pet alligator. I checked the laws, they aren't illegal. I looked up the cost; I can get one for $150. I found out what to feed the thing, its not too hard. I did all of the leg work, did all of the research, and figured a gator or two might even help cut the feral cat population.

    Then my wife said no. Bi t ch.
    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
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    • Likes 6
  • #2
    For the record, all of the above is true.
    Screenshot_20220416-174251_DuckDuckGo.jpg
    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

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    • #3
      Gonna name him Cuddles?
      Kung Wu say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
      • Likes 1

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      • #4
        Come visit. Will show you why you don’t want one.
        • Likes 1

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        • #5
          This goes in the category of "Husbands sometimes know what's best". Buy it for her, for her birthday. She'll come around, I promise!
          Kung Wu say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Downtown Shocker Brown View Post
            Come visit. Will show you why you don’t want one.
            You have one?
            There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

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            • #7
              Trust me, they don’t taste like chicken.
              "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"
              • Likes 1

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Downtown Shocker Brown View Post
                Come visit. Will show you why you don’t want one.
                A gator or a wife?
                • Likes 5

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by MoValley John View Post

                  You have one?
                  I have a gator farm near me. Can meet the guy who lost his arm to a gator he raised from a small gator.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Downtown Shocker Brown View Post

                    I have a gator farm near me. Can meet the guy who lost his arm to a gator he raised from a small gator.
                    There aren't any bad gators, just bad gator parents.
                    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
                    • Likes 3

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MoValley John View Post

                      There aren't any bad gators, just bad gator parents.
                      And one-armed gator parents.

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                      • #12

                        https://youtu.be/NBQDPJ52rEU
                        There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by 1972Shocker View Post

                          And one-armed gator parents.
                          I thought that gator parents had short arms.
                          • Likes 1

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                          • #14
                            When I first saw the thread title I thought of John Deere Gators instead of alligators :)

                            Access Denied
                            https://www.deere.com/en/gator-utility-vehicles/
                            Not responsible for damage from posts that sail over the reader's head.
                            • Likes 2

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ted Lasso's Neighbor View Post
                              When I first saw the thread title I thought of John Deere Gators instead of alligators :)

                              https://www.deere.com/en/gator-utility-vehicles/
                              Thought the same thing… was actually going to post a photo and got distracted.
                              "You Just Want to Slap The #### Outta Some People"

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