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Been hearing a lot of talk about Shamet, everyone trying to figure out if he can or can’t redshirt. Let me just say this and listen up because I am Tyrone Shoelace and I KNOW basketball (I invented the cross-over dribble back in the early 70’s for crying out loud!) If Marshall wants to redshirt him, he WILL get him a medical redshirt. Plain and simple, there are PLENTY of doctors in Marshall's back pocket that are more than happy to give him what ever documentation he desires. It’s all about who you know! I happen to know this first hand.
Back in my glory days I had a crucial one on one match up lined up with another cat that likes to post on ShockerNet (won't mention his name but initials DD), There was BIG TIME cash on the line. We are talking more coin than some of you bench warmers make in a year. Problem is, my game was a little off due to a heartless game playing chic that was messing with my head. As some of you know my only two weakness’s are burritos and babes. Anyway, I knew that I could not risk playing for such high stakes if I was not on my game. I needed a way out. So I contacted a friend who had a friend who knew a doctor that would write an official physicians letter. Here is a copy of that letter.
To whom it may concern,
Due to inflamed hemorroidal tissue, Tyrone Shoelace will be unable to participate in athletic competition and will be red shorting for the remainder of the season or until the itching and burning goes away. He will be released to perform any and all athletic maneuvers, including his patented cross-over dribble which he invented back in the early 70’s, when and only when he is able to perform a release of his own without discomfort. Once Mr. Shoelace is able to release a brown trout into the porcelain fishbowl without the assistance of creams, lotions, or Medamucil, he will be immediately re-evaluated and given a full medical release. In my professional opinion, this does exempt Mr. Shoelace from the prior engagement with D_____D______, and therefore makes the bet null and void.
Signed
Dr. Red Dook
Professional Doctor
Now if Marshall has any trouble getting a redshirt for Shamet, I would be more than happy to put him in touch with Red Dook, for a professional doctor’s letter. However, I would like to be compensated with season tickets, mid court, no more than 10 rows up.
Back in my glory days I had a crucial one on one match up lined up with another cat that likes to post on ShockerNet (won't mention his name but initials DD), There was BIG TIME cash on the line. We are talking more coin than some of you bench warmers make in a year. Problem is, my game was a little off due to a heartless game playing chic that was messing with my head. As some of you know my only two weakness’s are burritos and babes. Anyway, I knew that I could not risk playing for such high stakes if I was not on my game. I needed a way out. So I contacted a friend who had a friend who knew a doctor that would write an official physicians letter. Here is a copy of that letter.
To whom it may concern,
Due to inflamed hemorroidal tissue, Tyrone Shoelace will be unable to participate in athletic competition and will be red shorting for the remainder of the season or until the itching and burning goes away. He will be released to perform any and all athletic maneuvers, including his patented cross-over dribble which he invented back in the early 70’s, when and only when he is able to perform a release of his own without discomfort. Once Mr. Shoelace is able to release a brown trout into the porcelain fishbowl without the assistance of creams, lotions, or Medamucil, he will be immediately re-evaluated and given a full medical release. In my professional opinion, this does exempt Mr. Shoelace from the prior engagement with D_____D______, and therefore makes the bet null and void.
Signed
Dr. Red Dook
Professional Doctor
Now if Marshall has any trouble getting a redshirt for Shamet, I would be more than happy to put him in touch with Red Dook, for a professional doctor’s letter. However, I would like to be compensated with season tickets, mid court, no more than 10 rows up.
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